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"Dear Sir,
Before this reaches you, you will have had news of the 'home going' of your dear brother, but I thought you might
like a few particulars of his life and words, during the last days before his departure to be with Jesus.
We do not understand as yet God's dealings with us in the taking of him, but we know it must be right, knowing
as we do that He does all things well.
You will remember I wrote to you on Friday August 24th, and enclosed it with Mr. Barr's letter of the same day.
I told you the doctor's verdict that the right lung was seriously affected and that he was breaking up fast -and
I felt that unless God worked marvellously, he would not be with us long -and I felt too that the Lord would not
allow him to get worse and worse if He meant ultimately to raise him up, -for I have seen this fact with regard
to God's dealings with us for many years past, that He never wastes anything and He would not now waste the manifestation
of His strength to him -I mean that He would not allow him to come yet lower physically and then have to build
him up.
On Saturday he was weaker. I read to him our Y.M.C.A. text and also the Revised Version of it, Jude 24 "Now
unto Him that is able to guard you from stumbling and to present you faultless before the presence of His glory
with exceeding joy" etc.
He listened and enjoyed, it as indeed he always did the reading of God's Word.
In the afternoon a friend of his from College called and saw him for about ten minutes. Then Mr. Musa Bhai came
to see him [how he had looked forward to his coming!] so that when Miss Winkler came later in the day, he was too
tired to see her.
I think perhaps he had his first impression of going home on Saturday evening, for he said to me, 'Nurse if the
Lord should take me" and then his breath coming so quickly stopped his further talking for that time. I was
rather uncertain at the time if he said "take" me -or "if the Lord should touch me", but as
the next thing he said was to ask me if he could have a light in his room all night, a little light, which of course
he had, I think my first idea was right, and I was with him nearly all night. From 10 p.m. Saturday to 2 a.m.
Sunday he slept, but after that was restless and dozing all the time.
When awake he was moaning. I asked him, 'Can I do anything for you to make you easy?' he answered, 'Only pray
for me' which I did -and later on, the same morning, when I had , in a few words asked the Lord to be pleased
to ease him and give him sleep -he said 'Is that all you can say for me?' 'No' I said, 'but take this first,
you will be better able to pray in spirit' -and I gave him some nourishment. Then we had a real good time in
the presence of our Lord -one of those times when one's soul sees Jesus and the beauty of His grace and forgets
all else -I thanked the Lord that we were His children -redeemed by the precious blood, and sanctified by the
Holy Spirit -and praised Him that through the riches of His grace He had made this known to us by the same Holy
Spirit, and that we were heirs of God and joint heirs with Christ.' He responded 'Praise God' during this.
This seemed to calm him wonderfully and lulled him into sleep, and he had an hour or two of good sleep.
But that was the beginning of the four bad nights -and he was not left at all, day or night, after Saturday, and
we had many precious times in the quiet of the night -though at times he would be talking unconsciously.
On Sunday morning I helped him to get up and he sat as usual in his sofa-chair -which we wheeled to and from the
bed-side. In the afternoon he lay down again in bed and stayed there. Then the rest of the day after tea, the
sound of singing came up from the dining room below and he expressed a wish -again- to hear some singing. So Mr.
Redlich kindly offered to come up and play some hymns on the piano in the sitting room, on the same landing as
his bedroom. We sang from No. 44 New Songs and Solos 'I would not ask for earthly store' -
The last verse was specially appropriate though we did not know it at the time. I give it here.
And when at last my labour o'er
I cross the narrow sea
Grant, Lord, that on the other shore
My Soul may dwell with Thee
And learn what here I cannot know
Why Thou hast ever loved me so".
He said to me 'I can't sing them but I like to hear them -I feel that I could sing if I had the breath -I should
love to sing' -He seemed as if he longed to praise. On Sunday afternoon too, Miss Winkler came, Mrs. Baxter's
friend, and she had had a remarkable experience. Since the previous afternoon when she called, she told us how
ill she had been, it seemed as it were a sudden smiting of Satan -she thought she was taken for dead, and telegraphed
for Mr. Brodie -one of the Bethsham workers -who was away in another part of London -God wonderfully raised
her up and she walked straight from her couch to this house. She felt that God would have her come, as He had
laid the burden of Mr. Barr's condition so much on her heart, and that it was merely Satan trying to hinder her,
who probably was. Her talk was most helpful. I was with Mr. Barr nearly all the time but left them, at the close,
for a few minutes. Her whole subject was on this, the sudden coming of the Lord for His children and this verse
had been forcibly applied to her in the morning, when she was suffering such agony. 'Surely, I come quickly' and
she thought it meant coming in death to her, and the point was, her willingness to go: was she willing? And after
a moments hesitation, she could truthfully say she was. This seemed to be the lesson she was to pass on. She
told me that she asked Mr. Barr, that if God should want him to go to Him, would he be willing? He answered, 'Yes,
I am willing to do my God's will'. That was beautiful, was it not? I do not think any of us know how deeply God
was teaching him in these last few days, in such a gentle loving way which is just like Him. His spirit was woven
and inter-knitted with the reality of God As far back as two weeks ago, he said to me on two different occasions
'I know I do not live near enough to God. I must have some quiet time.' Then we arranged to have a quiet time
directly after his breakfast, I leaving him after the reading of a few verses and prayer, that he might be alone
with God. Sometimes he went off to sleep during the reading or prayer, which was the best thing he could do -then
I left him.
Monday was the last day he got up, then I helped him into his wheeled chair -he was very weak
indeed, and his cough ceased which was a bad sign.
I read to him the usual Y.M.C.A. reading for the day, Matt.24.32-51. The text verse for the day was, Watch ye
and pray always Luke 21.36. After reading the 41st verse, 'one shall be taken and the other left' he asked me,
what does that mean? I told him a little -after that he lay back again, apparently contented.
At tea time he said to me, "I want to ask a favour nurse, that you will sing to me after tea?" I said,
"Oh yes, we will have some singing", and so Mr. Redlich came up again -he had so kindly offered to come
up any time and play when Mr. Barr could bear the noise of the piano. And he wanted us to sing
Rock of ages cleft for me
Let me hide myself in Thee
which we did and after that,
Jesus Lover of my soul,
and then said "I should like
O God our help in ages past
Our Hope for years to come
Our shelter from the stormy blast
And our eternal home.
We sang those three, and I think that was all. He was tired and I put him to bed early, soon
after six. We sat quietly together then till nearly eight, and he dozed and woke up somewhat refreshed for his
supper. After that I found a hymn. No. 208 in Consecration and Faith, and said I thought he would enjoy hearing
a verse or two of it read. This was the first verse
There is a safe and secret place
Beneath the wings divine
Reserved for all the heirs of grace
Oh, be that refuge mine
Through the night he was restless -and frequently prayed short sentences like prayers -such
as "O Lord help me". We were both glad when the morning dawned. He seemed better during the day [as
in most of the cases]; he had letters and opened them and tried to read them after breakfast, but could not finish
them and asked me to read them to him. I read him parts of them. This was Tuesday morning. Two letters were
from Ceylon, one from Mr. Musa Bhai, and one from an English friend. When I was feeding him with a spoon at dinner
time, I said "I shall have to do it this way for a few days" -as of course he had usually sat up and
eaten his dinner in a proper fashion. He said, "For a few weeks I think", and later in the day when
I was giving him some Brands essence in a teaspoon, I coaxed him to take it, saying, "it will help to make
you better." But he said , "I shall never be better nurse". I said to him, "Do you feel like
that?", and he gave a slight turn of his head on the pillow meaning assent. We always tried to save him uttering
more words than were absolutely necessary as we know the effort it cost him. He wanted to see Mr. Redlich all
day, but he was gone out before he enquired for him.....He spoke his name several times during the day, also "Honter"
and "Musa Bhai", and during the last night, Tuesday night, Mr. Musa Bhai's name came over more than once,
also that of "Agil"....and "my brother". He told me on the day before [Monday] that he had
many bad dreams about his friends, in one that all his brother's house lost their faith, and in another that Agil
was hurt, killed. These things troubled him on Tuesday night, and the only comfort was to pray aloud beside him,
telling God all about it, and reminding him that He was stronger than the evil one. Of course much that he said,
was while he was unconscious, but these things troubled him, conscious or unconscious during the last day ad night.
But towards the dawning of the morning, Wednesday, he was quite conscious, and uttered such a heartfelt little
prayer, clasping his hands together and praying, among other things, that God would pardon him if he had believed
wrongly, for Jesus Christ's sake. This was so touching ,and, perhaps on that account, I remember that one sentence.
I gave him nourishment regularly, at every two hours during the night and morning, and at one of such times, he
said "I am good, I take what you bring me"...."Yes", I said, "you are good......you are
getting better in this line".......By saying he was good, he was thinking of the times when he had not been
good -one of the greatest difficulties in the nursing of him has been to get him to take food; but latterly that
was easy to be understood, his throat being in such a bad state.
The last thing he took was at about 8.30, which was yolk of an egg beaten up I warm milk....except water, which
he asked for at about 9.15 a.m., and soon after that the moaning ceased and I called Miss Dutton up to see him,
and together we watched while he breathed his last, and the spirit returned to God who gave it -he passed quietly
and peacefully away, there was no difference in him than there had been all the night and the day previous, except
that the moaning ceased.
I must ask you to excuse the many references to myself, but I hardly know how to write it otherwise. It has been
a privilege to nurse the dear one just gone from us.
With Christian sympathy, believe me.
Yours very sincerely,
[Nurse] A.M. Cearn."
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